About Me

Sunday, November 27, 2016

Stagnant water


In this kind of weather (Its November!), I feel like I am dozing off easily at every seconds of the day.
And, yes I am at the moment. 
Some front paper title I should not miss out to highlight today are;-
  • Fidel Castro, a communist & revolutionary leader in Cuba was dead yesterday at 90 years old.
  • Malaysia was defeated by Myanmar with 0 to 1 score in AFF Suzuki Cub.
  • Rohingya minority muslim ethnic in Myanmar sufferings got full blast coverage in news.
My comments on these three most popular news title, ermmm. Maybe they will be too long and complicated, which require another blog post for me to analyse and write in details. 



Back to my not so important life story.
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I don't blame the weather for my recent life's stagnation of any kind of improvements and productions.

I don't really know how long it has been like this or whether how long I plan to remain stagnant and dormant like this. I hope not for my entire life. 

Berat nanang gini.
Memang berat nanang sungguh gini.

Where does motivation and life goals go off, missing or disappear in the thin and cold air of November? I am really not sure for myself. 

If I don't plan for my life, definitely and most certainly I plan for my doomsday. 

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Let me be honest. 

YES, I HAVE MY LIFE GOALS AND AIMS THAT I WOULD LIKE TO ACHIEVE.
I LIST 5 OR 6 OF THEM IN THE FRONT PAGE OF MY SMALL GREEN NOTEBOOK. 
I LOOK AT THEM ALMOST EVERY DAY (not on weekends sadly).

(And the last one, I wrote it in very small size writings since it cannot be predictable or necessarily need a lot of hard works, sadly.) 

I even read page by page a motivation book exclusively written by a woman for women to be successful in every aspect of life. Bright in pink, for God's sake !!

Frankly, I hate that book (its kinda boring) but I keep pushing myself to finish reading it. 
It takes a lot of pains for that!!!

What a shame really. I read a motivation book but I don't really like it and nothing really happen.
What a waste of time. 

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What else I want to write here? Hurmmmmm. A lot but then I forget. 
I start feeling sleepy again now. 

Oh..I have a dream tooooooo (let's take a guess)......................

🎆🎆 MAKE A LOT OF MONEY VIA BUSINESS (not so extraordinary. normal)
🎆🎆 COOK A LOT OF DISHES & BREAD, SO, I CAN INVITE PEOPLE EAT AT HOME
(wohoh. this one I could say quite ambitious for myself. really need strong will to make this real).

But, in the end, I rather lay down and watch some science and news on youtube, twitter or pinterest.
Oh, dear me. Sad me. 

Aku mau lari ke Antartika & berteman sama beruang polar dan penguin.
Supaya aku boleh melambai selamat tinggal kepada kejayaan & keinginan.
Bye2 duniaaaaaaa. Byeeeeee.
(Inilah kata2 seseorang yang bukannya sesiapa,maupun Hamka ataupun Fidel Castro.Huh.)



Sunday, November 20, 2016

1st post in 2016

I feel quite a shame that I never ever once write in this blog during this year.
For some reasons, I googled my name at one night and re-read my whole writings in this blog
(except that was written in 2011. There are too many!!!).

So, I guess I should start writing something for 2016, which will come to the end
in quite some time actually. About 6 weeks from now to be exact.

Happy 20+ years 1 day for me today!!! 🎈🎈🎈🎂🎂

NOOOO. Nope. You cannot guess my date of birth by referring to the date this post is published.
As the date & time for this blog mess up due to I don't know how to change the settings for it.

💎💮🍇🍈🍉🍊🍋🌿🌽🌼🌸🍀🌺💎💮🍇🍈🍉🍊🍋🌿🌽🌼🌸🍀🌺


I wonder how much I have changed since I started writing this blog.
It has been somehow 5 to 6 years honestly. 
Some of the pictures in this blog will never be recovered again, sadly.
As the results of big flood at the end of 2013. 

This post is in short only for my own self-reflection.
Am I really a different person compare to me in 2011?

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I keep asking myself the same question again and again after the night I re-read my blog.
I believe myself is very much a different person today than my old person. 
But, I am really not sure how much of myself have changed towards the better me.
It could be 40% or 50% or more.
Or maybe less than that, which quite regrettably to say.

5 to 6 years are not a short period of time. 
Believe me. 
 I will write some big events that have happened to me throughout these years.
(just for the sake of writing something to be read in future time)

🌈 Bersih 5 yesterday. Supermoon last week. 
🌈I went for my Master Convocation couple of weeks before.
🌈 I quit from my job as a science & biology teacher in an international school.
🌈 I got a niece last year. 
🌈 We went to perform umrah. 
🌈 Eki, our second oldest cat was dead by me putting him to sleep.
🌈 and I dont really know what to write anymore.

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The enlisted events that I wrote down above actually not even in the right sequence.
Whatever lah.
This is a very deep thought post that using up a lot of my emotion.
Why?
I think I know, but should I tell you. Definitely, no. 

I feel as if I am just a speck of dust in the entire world. Seriously. 
Hopeless.Hapless.