Research

It has been a very slow journey of research.
I am too afraid of making the first step.
Too anxious.
Thinking too much.

I need help.
But, the reality of research; You must help yourself first.
Especially, here, in IIUM, in Malaysia.

This is a lot harder than I imagine.
But, my supervisor keep saying everything is a chink.

Do not have any other option other than MOVING FORWARD.

p/s:  I am thinking about my study every second of my life lately. I am soo worried. Oh, God.

Gentleman friends

This is us on National Day last week.
We hold a walk event for our club member, Kelab Khita.

Obviously, there are only two guys in the picture.
My big boss is the one in the middle.
And the other guy is an example of gentleman friend.

What I am trying to say here, some Malay guys are really gentleman in nature.
This is because, I once read (somewhere) that typical Malay guys are rude to girls.
Except for the very special girls to them. For sure!!.

In fact, it is not 100% true.
I met few of them. But, actually most of the guys are not gentleman.
Let's not talk about this not-so-gentleman guys.

Gentleman friends are amazing. They are willingly help anyone without a second thought.
Especially Malaysian guys back in Australia.

To think back, I wish I could return all my gentleman friends' kindness to anyone who ask me for help.
As, I cannot return their kindness directly back to them. We are not friend in the real meaning and we are not going to meet each other again.

Studying in Malaysia, I thought it will be tough to deal with typical rude Malay guys attitude.
Somehow, this one very ferocious lab head (young & just engaged) finally offer his help on my project.

But, it takes time and professionalism in communication.

**************
Anyhow, I feel very blessed with family and friend around me. Alhamdullillah.

Kelakar

Hari ini, Alhamdulillah. Bermula lebih baik dari semalam. Asyik nak gelak jer sebenarnya. Dan rajin membaca blog yg ntah hapa2.

Ada satu blog ni memang kena dg diri sendiri. Ini blog tu.






Is it possible to stop yourself from falling in love?

Definitely, YES!!!.

Blemish skin viva forever

I start my morning today without any courage. Discourage. By looking at my blemish face. How come it looks very hideous like this? Oh, God.

A relationship. Bad.

I do not describing myself as rebellious or anything with similar meaning.
Yet, I could be very stubborn sometimes.

Me too cannot imagine how stubborn I become in very depressing times.
It just very unthinkable.

But, things getting very ugly when it comes to a relationship.
Someone who has power to give instructions on me.
Someone, who known as BOSS.

I am slow at secretary works.
Very slow because I am totally blank with all those rules and protocols.

Write this and that. Call here and there.
Entertain those peoples.

Hello......
Anyone knows who I am in the past?.
A lone ranger.

* * * * * * * * *
Bad communications.
That's all it is needed to spark a fire.

I was totally exploded today.
With my boss. Second boss.

She loves shouting and get angry with me.

* * * * * * * *
I hate her.
And I feel very regret about this.

Two fb accounts

I am losing my momentum & focus on work right now.

Anyway, I have two Facebook accounts.

I rarely sign in the real one except on the phone or when I am extremely bored with the other FB account.
The other FB account mostly contains local or national news.
Gossips, NO!.

So, once in couple of months or weeks I read attentively on selected people's updates via my original account. Every time I do it, the updates never failed to suprise me.

So, yeah. Now, I am in shock...

Wawancara dg TV Hijrah

Saya ditemu ramah oleh pengacara terkenal TV Hijrah; En Amin Idris.

Ini butir2 wawancara kami mengenai diri saya;

1)      Kenapa tidur juga yang Cik Fazilah suka nak buat drpd aktiviti2 lain?

Sebab tidur adalah sesuatu yg bukan berbentuk kerja dan yg paling mudah utk dibuat bila ada masa terluang.

2)      Adakah Cik Fazilah ada keinginan utk mengubah keadaan ini?

Ya, memang ada. Tersangat ada. Tapi, yang menghairankannya sy tetap mengulangi perkara yg sama pd setiap hari. Sy rasa sy sudah sgt selesa dengan situasi begini sehingga begitu sebati dalam diri.

3)      Adakah Cik Fazilah sudah melakukan yang sehabis baik bila menyedari hobi tidur sgt susah dikurangkan dan dilenyapkan dalam diri anda?

Erm. (tetiba terasa org jahat yg Tanya soalan ni).  Susah juga nak jawab. Melakukan yg sehabis baik?. Tak rasanya. Sbb seperti sy ckp tadi, sudah jadi sikap buruk sy.

4)      Cik Fazilah mahu berubah tapi tidak melakukannya sehabis baik?. Adakah Cik maksudkan disini yang Cik suka melakukan kerja separuh jalan, “seperti melepaskan batuk ditangga”?

Erm. Bolehlah dikatakan begitu. Sebenarnya perkataan suka tu mcm x betul. Sy ini waktu sekolah dulu2 sgt bercita2 besar dan sy realisasikannya dalam bentuk keputusan peperiksaan. Sekarang pun sy bercita2 besar. Sy mahu jadi penyelidik muda dg sentuhan emas. Hehe. Dan, sy yakin sy boleh !!!.

5)      (kekaguman) Suka sy mendengar Cik Fazilah ada cita2 dan matlamat hidup utk dicapai. Tapi, bukankah semua itu mesti dengan usaha dan bukannya dg ada hobi tidur dan bermalas2an yg Cik katakan sebentar  tadi.

Itu memanglah sy tahu. Sy tgh berusahalah nih nak jadi yg terbaik. Mana ada sy ckap sy nak teruskan hobi tidur tu sampai bila2.

6)      Oh, baiklah begitu. Jadi, Cik Fazilah memang mahu berubah jadi lebih baik dengan usaha yang bersungguh2?

Itu pasti!!. InsyaAllah!!. Semoga Allah sentiasa dalam sanubari sy membantu dalam perubahan kepada yg lebih baik. Amiin.